Why Diverse Hobby Spaces Matter
I have been a rock climber for 8 years. In that time, I’ve expanded my skill set from climbing short rock walls at gyms, to ascending glaciers and multi-pitch alpine rocks around Washington State. Over time, I fell so deeply in love with this sport that transformed my noodly gamer arms into real muscles I’m proud of, and became the catalyst for going on some of the most bonkers gorgeous trips of my life.
At some point over the last couple years, however, I got hit with some pretty severe burnout. A sport I once fervently participated in several times a week I was now struggling to participate in once a week. My fitness took a nosedive and my confidence dropped. My reliable routine of “well, just climb anyway” wasn’t working anymore. It took time and joining a community of women climbers to finally start getting my groove back.
Why the hell am I talking about rock climbing in a wargaming blog?
For any given hobby, you’re likely to find a large online community where you can share your love of the hobby with others. However, more and more I’m seeing women (including myself) seek out smaller, women-focused communities. This makes sense from a human standpoint. A smaller community is naturally going to give you a more intimate experience, which can make it easier to form closer connections. But when talking with others, the reasons they give for joining such groups aren’t just that they’re women-focused, or smaller, or more intimate. It’s about something that can be harder to explain, but is easy to feel. These spaces can provide an environment of understanding, and they can also better position you to accomplish your goals since you’re starting from the same ground.
Most of my life, I’ve enjoyed hobbies where I just happen to be the gender minority, so I feel like I have the experience to talk about what it’s like on both sides: both being aware of my minority status in those moments, but having enough life experiences to no longer find such situations intimidating. My first exposure to the Wargaming hobby was with a group of friends on my team when I was a fledgling engineer in the games industry. We would often host painting sessions in the office after work, where we’d take over a meeting room, grab some beers, and paint until midnight. Having only dabbled in basic Gundam kits as a teenager, the concept of putting a model together from scratch and then painting it seemed way over my head. But, after learning the basics from others, I managed to paint a full squad of Legions of Nagash and get a taste of Warcry and fell in love.
Kirsten’s first Warcry band, September 2019
When joining a new hobby or climbing group, my gender is never the first thing on my mind. This still rings true, but in recent years I have started to long more and more for these spaces to be more inclusive. Though it wasn’t until a couple of years ago that I actually felt empowered to do anything about it, I recognize how impactful it is to simply have a diverse, accessible space within a space. Whether you’re trying to intentionally build diversity or not, as it turns out, this can do some real good for everyone involved.
In talking to other women about this kind of thing in recent years, I’ve discovered an interesting trend. Some women are starting to migrate to smaller, splinter communities to avoid the toxicity present in some larger communities,or even to simply have a space to enjoy the hobby without having the pressure of being the absolute best at said hobby. It’s nice sometimes in large communities to aspire to be great in a hobby you love, but I’ve also heard my share of horror stories, where minority beginners will get comments from those in the community simply for doing something too basic or easy. While it’s nice to have a big community available for becoming great at the thing you love, it’s also nice to have a community that empathizes with you on the basis of a shared identity or life experiences. These groups can offer insights and perspectives that make it easier to see your successes and how you’ve moved toward your goals.
Gaining Perspective on My Gains
Using my own experience as an example: I recently joined some women-focused climbing groups online in addition to the larger “Rock and Mountain Climbing” ones I already participate in. Over my years of climbing athletically, I had started noticing that every once in a while, despite following my same routine, I would feel terrible at the gym. For a few days, I would underperform, failing to meet goals I knew I could hit. This grew even worse after the burnout set in, and the subsequent confidence hit from not meeting my targets demotivated me even more. Just showing up at the gym began to feel impossible. This was pummeling my confidence until I finally found a group of women who could explain why, turns out, feeling like shit for a few days every month as someone with a uterus is kind of normal.” (Also, turning 30 didn’t help, but I digress). That one clear-eyed, kind statement suddenly turned the conversation to “I’ve been there and it's totally normal, so go easy on yourself” instead of “Just climb harder, bro”. I’m not saying that comment was bad—it likely came from a good place, but felt like it was…missing context?
Properly getting over burnout involved more time and work, but acknowledgement and empathy from climbers who knew what it was like for me was a hell of a start. I’ve participated in sports the vast majority of my life. I can fit in, and enjoy playing co-ed, or joining a group of guys on a climb, but it was this interaction that made me realize that having these kinds of spaces can make entering and sticking with a hobby so much easier. The barrier to entry can be so much easier to go through when you have the support from a social group like that.. When you're just trying to be “one of the guys,” you might not be thinking about what your specific needs are. I certainly don’t begrudge any hobby spaces dominated by a particular gender. It’s unavoidable, particularly given how we’ve marketed certain things to boys or girls specifically as a society. This blog isn’t about analyzing that. What this post is trying to say is that having a diverse space within a community, even within an overall positive community, is a good thing.
While the lower percentage of women wargamers wasn’t an impediment for me personally getting into the wargaming hobby, I do wonder how many women are out there who might view a “Women in Warhammer” group as a friendlier entry point, to get started. My experiences with the Waystone community have been nothing but positive. I’ve felt actively empowered to contribute here and have been embraced by the community, despite being a gender minority in the hobby space and at the club. But sometimes, it’s nice to feel represented. In Warhammer terms: sometimes being the lone gray model in a list you’re trying out is a lot harder than it seems!
If you identify as a woman or nonbinary and you’re reading this, and you’ve had an itch to get involved in the hobby but don’t know where to start, feel free to reach out, and please sign up for the class! There’s someone out there hoping to get into the hobby, but the barrier to entry may seem too intimidating. My hope and dream is to break those barriers, together.
Kirsten will be hosting a workshop aimed at women and non-binary folks interested in learning how to paint miniatures on November 23rd, entitled The Feral Underground. For more info and to sign up, see the event listing here.
If you’re interested in following Kirsten’s gaming, climbing, and other endeavors, find her on Instagram at @nataska075.